I am looking for my “Other.”

I recently had a client ask me if I could tell her when she would meet her “Other.”  That question gave me a quick “flash to the past” about a reading I did for a friend of mine, when we were both working in the Excalibur night club in Chicago in the early 1990s.  She was a cocktail waitress and I was doing Tarot reading.  She was not the only person who asked me that question; she was the first one who asked it.  I cannot remember what I told her, but over the years, I woke up, got smarter and learned to re-direct my clients away from those types of questions.  I work with them to look at what is possible and what is not.  I help them get out of their heads, look at their ideal, dream person and ask them to show me an example of a real person that fits that description.  You guessed it — no examples. What my job has become in this type of situation is to help them discover what type of person they might want to welcome into their life — a real person who wants to love them and make a life with them. Yes, the “The Queen of Common Sense” is holding court today in The Clairvoyant’s Corner 2.0

There is so much literature, movies, theories and beliefs about finding soul mates.  Many people believe once they find their soul mate, their life will be wonderful.  Unfortunately, that is not always the case, but I will reserve this discussion for a future blog post.  I would like to focus on shooting down popular beliefs that keep people from finding love and a good partner — namely their search for their “Other” or perceived soul mate.  If you happen to be someone who takes a few risks in life, seeking a good partner has better odds than looking for your “Other” or soul mate.

I suggest to countless men and women that they need to be their own person when entering into a relationship.  I discourage searching for the “One” or the “Other.”  Of course, many people like to believe that they will find this person.  It’s possible.  Perhaps they may find someone to complete them.  But will they be happy?  I cannot predict that.  As I have become older, and hopefully wiser, I find that most men and women just need to find a good, loving partner.  That, in and of itself is not easy. So, why complicate it?  I try to help them in whatever way I can —  make their journey a bit happier and easier.  Once they find a good partner, hopefully that person will want to be in a relationship with them.  Then they both must be willing to do the work necessary to make this relationship blossom and continue to grow.

I tell my clients, “When you find someone you want to be in a relationship with, or marry, they should enhance your life.  If they don’t make it better, or make you feel better by having them in your life, then why would you want to be with them?”  I always try to make my clients think.  They need to decide what they want to do when they fall in love with someone.  Does this person make their life better, happier and are they a good partner?  If so, great.  Go for it!  If not, re-think what you want and what this person brings to the table.  You usually know by the third date if this person has any potential.

This brings me to a wonderful quote I discovered in the January 2, 2017 issue of Us Magazine.  Actress Gina Rodriguez, star of “Jane the Virgin,”  was overhead saying the following: “I want to know that I don’t need another to be full.  So that whenever another person…comes into play, they are an addition, not filling a need.”

She put herself ahead of a romance.  She knows who she is and what works for her.  Well stated, Gina.  I hope this inspires you to look for someone who enhances you…and if you have that, you are blessed.