Dating can be daunting — especially with online/app dating, which has become most people’s only way to make a connection. Even if you have good self-esteem, the process of finding a partner can be devastating and make you doubt yourself. Trying to spot and avoid inappropriate people, catfish and scammers can really take its toll.
Millennials through Baby Boomers are frustrated and want to give up looking for someone. Why? Rejection! No one likes to be rejected. No one likes to reject anyone either, but everyone does it. Why? Here are a few reasons why: they look creepy, their photos are old, I don’t feel any chemistry, they didn’t fill out their profile, they cannot write complete sentences, we have nothing in common, they are narcissistic, they look old, they look too good to be true, they are fat, they are too thin, they have kids, they live too far away, I’m not their type, or their lifestyle is different. These are a few of the reasons people reject potential dates.
On the other hand, when you find someone who you think can be a good match, they might ignore you or turn you down. It happens. You have to believe you are entitled to find someone who wants to be with you, too. Granted, it’s a numbers game. The older you get, the harder it is to find someone with baggage that you both can deal with. Baggage comes with age. Anyone who tells you then have no baggage is in denial. Life experience, issues and fear, etc. can be considered baggage. The only thing you need to do is to manage your baggage and not let it get in the way of your relationship and hope that your partner does the same.
One of my jobs is to encourage people to hang in there and never give up. When dating gets really difficult, take a break. Work on getting your confidence back. Start feeling good again and just get out there when you are feeling stronger I contributed a quote to ThisIsInsider.com for their article “6 people reveal why going on a dating hiatus may be your best tool in finding love”. Give it a quick glance. It might help shift your thoughts.
Do not let being rejected, or rejecting unsuitable prospects stop you from finding a partner. If you are looking for a hookup, ask yourself why you don’t want a relationship? Adult up. A good, solid working relationship with mutual respect and love is the best thing in the world. Love isn’t easy and can be painful; the search for love might be even more painful. It’s worth it in the long run — finding someone to to share your life with you — friendship and companionship, and most important of all…intimacy. If you get a good person who wants to do the work, it’s better than waiting for a soulmate. Not everyone gets to be with a soulmate…and not all soulmates do the work. I had one and he breadcrumbed and ghosted. He was afraid. I wouldn’t be who I am today if he had done the work. I believe he did me a favor. I frequently say a prayer for him and thank him for the gifts he gave me when he was part of my life.
Look at your issues, your fears, your self-esteem, and confidence; work on yourself. Seek someone who can help you get back on track if you need the help. A really good professional psychic or Tarot reader can spot your “stuff”, give you things to think about and empower you. Once you know what you need to work on, you can seek additional help if you feel you need it. That’s what therapists, psychologists, dating and relationship coaches do — help you. Of course, I’m always willing to help — Tarot cards in hand, guides on board and ready to spot you and empower you!