Pandora — Hope for a better new year!

Today is a new day and a new year — 2018.  Take a moment and breathe.  Think about where you came from, what you have accomplished thus far — without commentary and judgement.  Realize that no matter how difficult your life gets from time to time, take a moment, or two, or three, or four to count your blessings.  Everyone, no matter how pitch black their life may be at times, can find a pocket of light somewhere.  Find yours and embrace it.  This light is called hope.

Pandora figurine*

Pandora figurine*

Myths have a wonderful way of explaining things philosophically.  It’s always nice to be able to blame someone or something for what happens to us — usually bad things. Take the myth of Pandora’s box for example.  Pandora was blamed for all of the evils of the world because she opened the box. When she re-opened it and let out “Hope,” she gave us the tool we needed to make things better.  If you want to blame someone for the bad things that happen to you, blame Pandora, but thank her for re-opening the box and giving us that of pocket of light too — hope!

Remember to thank people for the good deeds they do and the bad things they do, too — even if you only do this in your thoughts or prayers.  Why?  Because sometimes we need a kick in the head to evolve — change our lives; inevitably, the Creator finds the best possible way to put us where we need to be, even if we don’t think so.

My late Astrology teacher, Jan McLevitch used to say, “We are privileged to live on the planet earth — it is the Oxford of the Universe.”  Imagine it if you will, that you are able to experience all sorts of things — good and bad.  You can choose to grow and evolve or remain safe — temporarily.  Whatever you choose, embrace whatever lesson is in front of you.  Be willing to evolve and accept what life gives you.  If  you are blessed with smooth sailing for a while, do not take it for granted or think it will always be like this.  If you are dealing with difficult situations — finances, career, relationship or medical “stuff”, embrace it — know that it is temporary as well.  Learn what you can do to make your life better; share your love and support with others — make someone else’s life better while you are at it.  Remember all things are temporary — good and bad.  Embrace the good stuff — savor it and express gratitude.   Embrace the bad stuff and find a way to deal with it as positively as possible.  Be grateful for EVERYTHING that you experience.  It will make a better person.

*This plaster figurine of Pandora has been a part of my life since I was a teenager.  She represents my love of classics, mythology and art.  However, she has always been a reminder that no matter what evil exists in the world, you can always hope for things to turn around — and to take action toward creating positive change.  This is why I tell people “NEVER GIVE UP!  FIND A WAY TO MAKE THINGS BETTER…AND ASK FOR HELP, IF AND WHEN, YOU NEED IT!”

Happy New Year everyone!  Welcome hope into your life — now and forever.  Do you have any thoughts you would like to share?  Please do.

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A Holiday Memory of Caring

Throughout my childhood, my father invited a wide variety of people over for Sunday brunch or dinner. My parents always treated them as if they were part of our family. So, it makes total sense to me that many of my friends have become my family. So, when I received mail from The Salvation Army offering a matching donation for every dollar I donated, it brought forth memories of Ollie – a woman I only met twice. She was a light-skinned, Black woman, tiny and petite — and a smoker. Most adults I knew back in the 1960s smoked; no one really knew that smoking could cause cancer back them.

My Dad connected with a lot of people, from all walks of life — wherever he went. I believe he met Ollie when he walked into one of The Salvation Army stores and just struck up a conversation with her. He was like that.  My mom took us girls, my sister and I , holiday shopping.  We had an annual tradition — go shopping downtown so we could look at Marshall Field’s window decorations.  We often passed a Salvation Army volunteer.  They were often freezing because of the Chicago winter and the winds.  Seeing them ringing a bell always made me ask Mom for a quarter or two to put into their bucket. I always felt if someone was out there freezing and doing something good, I should make their efforts worthwhile.

One Sunday, Dad drove to where Ollie was living and brought her to our house for a visit; he always took her home.  We had a few neighborhood friends over and all of them played penny-ante poker for hours.  This might have been where I picked up my habit of driving my younger acting classmates home after classes; I didn’t want them taking public transportation late at night — my maternal instinct, I suppose.  I only remember Ollie coming to visit us twice.  She loved my dad and he loved her – so I loved her too. In retrospect, I can see how my Dad’s words and deeds have shaped my character.

I later learned that my dad used to drop by The Salvation Army store and visit Ollie quite often.  She sent him home with a box of clothing — twice. She used to tell him “Eddie, get your box out of here, I’m tired of stepping over it.” In fact, she knew what size clothing Sheila and I wore. I think she knew we didn’t have a lot of money back them and I am sure my Dad did favors for her and the other people who worked there.  He was like that.  I believe that was her way of repaying his kindness.  In those boxes were two items that I loved dearly and wore out – A red flannel printed granny-type nightgown, and my most favorite item of all, a red flannel, mismatched pair of pajamas. They were warm and comfortable and chosen for me with love. I wore both items until they were ready for the trash. I guess this may have created my lifelong habit of only buying clothing that I am attached to and wearing my favorites until they fall apart.

Ollie died too young – cancer. When I wrote a check to The Salvation Army earlier this year, my memories of Ollie came flooding back. I said a blessing…”This is for you, Ollie. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. I am giving back.” When I received the aforementioned annual end-of-year charity request from them, I wrote them another check, included the matching donation form, and said aloud, “Thank you Ollie. I will never forget you.”

Take a moment and remember someone who did something for you when you were a child — just because. Pay it forward however you choose. While you don’t need to give money to a charity, be charitable. Make someone’s day and life a bit better. Try to do a deliberate act of kindness whenever you can — every day if possible — not just during this time of year — all year long. Happy Holidays to you!

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Thanksgiving, gratitude — and other thoughts

Whether you celebrate Thanksgiving or not, this American holiday is a time for giving thanks, or if you prefer, having gratitude for the good things in your life.  Yes, there may be challenges or situations that can alter the quality of your life or even your financial situation; these things can be life altering.  They could be anything from medical conditions that need attention — yours, your loved ones and/or pets you may have, to rethinking your career, and your professional and/or personal relationships.  Embrace gratitude for the not-so-good things in your life as well as the good things because they help you grow, put you where you need to be, and most important of all, they will improve the quality of your life and build character.

Nothing is ever perfect for very long.  “Life happens.”  “Drama happens.”  “Things change.”  You can complain about it and that is OK.  But to complain and not come up with an action plan to change things, would not be OK.  Take a moment and shift your thinking; see bad things as necessary for personal growth.  If everything were perfect all the time, things might get boring.

Spend a little time this holiday season to assess your life as you have been living it and figure out what “nasty things” are present and if there is something you can do to either manage them or eradicate them.  Look at the upcoming new year as a chance to change things for the better.

You may feel knocked down for a moment or two and that is OK.  Just remember that there are many things you can do to improve your life regardless of any and all challenges you may be dealing with right now.  Take a moment or two to acknowledge the “good stuff.”  Then take a moment or two to acknowledge the “bad stuff.”  You need to see everything without rose-colored glasses.  That IS important.

Be grateful for the ability to see your life as you have been living it and see what you need to change, or what changes are going to smack you and knock the wind out of you.  Changes are always good in the long run.  The process of change can be horrible, scary and in many cases test your faith.  My favorite saying is “The Creator would never drop me on my head and throw me in the gutter.”  When you have desire, an open heart, faith, hope (even if it seems as though all hope is lost) and a willingness to stand up and just plunge in, know that there is magic and miracles around the corner — but they may take time to manifest.  This is where TRUST comes in handy.

If you are having a problem embracing gratitude and need to make changes in the new year, or are confronted with changes, here is an article on the Law of Attraction that has some wonderful tips to help you improve your life and shift your thinking.  You can attract what you want and need.  This article also contains my #1 Law of Attraction Tip.

The #1 Law Of Attraction Tips From 50+ Personal Growth Bloggers

Please read the article if you have not already done so and share it with anyone you think may benefit from it.  (They keep adding tips from time to time.)  Help someone make their holiday season a bit better.

I am grateful for being able to share my thoughts and this article.

Thank you.

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Online/App Dating: Rejection can be a positive thing

Welcome to Rejection

(c) Can Stock Photo / 72soul

Dating can be daunting — especially with online/app dating, which has become most people’s only way to make a connection.  Even if you have good self-esteem, the process of finding a partner can be devastating and make you doubt yourself.  Trying to spot and avoid inappropriate people, catfish and scammers can really take its toll.

Millennials through Baby Boomers are frustrated and want to give up looking for someone. Why?  Rejection!  No one likes to be rejected.  No one likes to reject anyone either, but everyone does it.  Why?  Here are a few reasons why:  they look creepy, their photos are old, I don’t feel any chemistry, they didn’t fill out their profile, they cannot write complete sentences, we have nothing in common, they are narcissistic, they look old, they look too good to be true, they are fat, they are too thin, they have kids, they live too far away, I’m not their type, or their lifestyle is different.  These are a few of the reasons people reject potential dates.

On the other hand, when you find someone who you think can be a good match, they might ignore you or turn you down.  It happens.  You have to believe you are entitled to find someone who wants to be with you, too.  Granted, it’s a numbers game.  The older you get, the harder it is to find someone with baggage that you both can deal with.  Baggage comes with age.  Anyone who tells you then have no baggage is in denial.  Life experience, issues and fear, etc. can be considered baggage.  The only thing you need to do is to manage your baggage and not let it get in the way of your relationship and hope that your partner does the same.

One of my jobs is to encourage people to hang in there and never give up.  When dating gets really difficult, take a break.  Work on getting your confidence back.  Start feeling good again and just get out there when you are feeling stronger  I contributed a quote to for their article “6 people reveal why going on a dating hiatus may be your best tool in finding love”.  Give it a quick glance.  It might help shift your thoughts.

Do not let being rejected, or rejecting unsuitable prospects stop you from finding a partner.  If you are looking for a hookup, ask yourself why you don’t want a relationship?  Adult up.  A good, solid working relationship with mutual respect and love is the best thing in the world.  Love isn’t easy and can be painful; the search for love might be even more painful.  It’s worth it in the long run — finding someone to to share your life with you — friendship and companionship, and most important of all…intimacy.  If you get a good person who wants to do the work, it’s better than waiting for a soulmate.  Not everyone gets to be with a soulmate…and not all soulmates do the work.  I had one and he breadcrumbed and ghosted.  He was afraid.  I wouldn’t be who I am today if he had done the work.  I believe he did me a favor.  I frequently say a prayer for him and thank him for the gifts he gave me when he was part of my life.

Look at your issues, your fears, your self-esteem, and confidence; work on yourself.  Seek someone who can help you get back on track if you need the help.  A  really good professional psychic or Tarot reader can spot your “stuff”, give you things to think about and empower you.  Once you know what you need to work on, you can seek additional help if you feel you need it.  That’s what therapists, psychologists, dating and relationship coaches do — help you.  Of course, I’m always willing to help — Tarot cards in hand, guides on board and ready to spot you and empower you!

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Bring Back Joy – Quickie Tarot Spread

The tragedy that occurred yesterday at the Ariana Grande concert in Manchester, England, once again, serves as a reminder that we no longer live in a kinder, gentler world.  Everything cycles throughout history, and currently, things are chaotic, to put it mildly.  Unbelievable acts of violence are happening every day.  If we focus on the bleakness and tragedy, our inner light becomes dim.  If we are not careful, we may lose hope and feel mostly pain and sorrow.  I like to tell people to look for pockets of light and focus on them so the light can grow bigger and brighter. Ideally, we want a balance between light and dark.

When I was younger, I was the eternal optimist.  I was happy, even though I experienced bullying and sexual harassment growing up.  I became stronger for the experience.  I was fortunate enough to have had wonderful friends; I also I tapped into my inner strength without knowing I was doing it.

As I walked to my car this evening, something flashed in my head.  Bring Back Joy!  I cannot remember the last time I really felt unbridled joy.  So I decided I should pull 3 Tarot cards for guidance.  I want to know what we can do to bring great joy back into our lives.  Guess, what?  Two cards came out together so I pulled two more and now it is a 4-card reading.  Here is how we can bring back joy into our lives on a daily basis, regardless of what is going on in the world, and in other areas of our lives.

Bring Back Joy Tarot SpreadPardon, Donatello’s body to the left of the cards; the Pirate kitty MUST be by his mommy.  The second card, the Nine of Pentacles shadows the first card, the High Priestess.  The High Priestess sits between the spiritual and the physical planes — the two pillars, Boaz and Jakin. We reside in the physical plane and we are spiritual beings, whether we like to admit it or not.  She represents going within and connecting to our higher self.  In plain English, we should connect to our intuition.

The Nine of Pentacles shows us a lovely lady in a lush, comfortable garden.  This is a reminder that if we trust our intuition, we can bloom and grow and have a lovely life — one that is happy no matter what is going in other areas of our lives and the world.  The artist, Pamela Colman Smith, put a little bitty snail near the bottom of the card.  Gotta watch those hungry snails because they can muck with our gardens — our plans.  We can still accomplish what we set out to do, but we may have a few challenges along the way.  Life would be boring without a little drama and excitement, right?  Do what I do … roll with it!

Moving on to the next card, the Seven of Swords (aka Thief of Swords), I decided it would be a wonderful idea to read it as a reversed card.  The sevens, as I see them, represent the second level of completion and it also is about choice.  In this card, the sneaky thief is trying to get away with the swords he stole from the camp.  I can look at this card three ways:  1) The thief gets caught; 2)  A certain chapter of our lives is now complete; and 3) Let go of whatever no longer serves you.

The last card, the Two of Swords, relates directly to the High Priestess.  With the twos, of which The High Priestess is one, it is about seeking choice, finding balance and accessing or trusting intuition.  The swords represent thinking and therein lies most of the problems of the world.  Our minds go into overdrive.  As I look at the Two of Swords, it circles back to the High Priestess.  If you don’t see what the solution is or what choice you need to make, trust your intuition.

Building the reading:

Guess what?  Trust your intuition!  By doing so, you can achieve what you want (which will incidentally give you joy).  Once you are on the road to finding joy, living it and experiencing it, why not let go of dark thoughts, negativity and anything in the world that will hold you back?  Put things in perspective.  When you are faced with choices and you want to feel joy, trust your intuition.  Go full circle.  Choose to let go of things that keep you from feeling joy.  If you have a problem doing it, think about it for a moment, then once you have thought about it, let your intuition override and guide you.

If you have any thoughts or another way of interpreting these cards, please leave me a comment.  I’d love to read them and I will comment back accordingly.

Thank you.

Posted in Intjuition, Personal Growth, Tarot Insights | 1 Comment

I am looking for my “Other.”

I recently had a client ask me if I could tell her when she would meet her “Other.”  That question gave me a quick “flash to the past” about a reading I did for a friend of mine, when we were both working in the Excalibur night club in Chicago in the early 1990s.  She was a cocktail waitress and I was doing Tarot reading.  She was not the only person who asked me that question; she was the first one who asked it.  I cannot remember what I told her, but over the years, I woke up, got smarter and learned to re-direct my clients away from those types of questions.  I work with them to look at what is possible and what is not.  I help them get out of their heads, look at their ideal, dream person and ask them to show me an example of a real person that fits that description.  You guessed it — no examples. What my job has become in this type of situation is to help them discover what type of person they might want to welcome into their life — a real person who wants to love them and make a life with them. Yes, the “The Queen of Common Sense” is holding court today in The Clairvoyant’s Corner 2.0

There is so much literature, movies, theories and beliefs about finding soul mates.  Many people believe once they find their soul mate, their life will be wonderful.  Unfortunately, that is not always the case, but I will reserve this discussion for a future blog post.  I would like to focus on shooting down popular beliefs that keep people from finding love and a good partner — namely their search for their “Other” or perceived soul mate.  If you happen to be someone who takes a few risks in life, seeking a good partner has better odds than looking for your “Other” or soul mate.

I suggest to countless men and women that they need to be their own person when entering into a relationship.  I discourage searching for the “One” or the “Other.”  Of course, many people like to believe that they will find this person.  It’s possible.  Perhaps they may find someone to complete them.  But will they be happy?  I cannot predict that.  As I have become older, and hopefully wiser, I find that most men and women just need to find a good, loving partner.  That, in and of itself is not easy. So, why complicate it?  I try to help them in whatever way I can —  make their journey a bit happier and easier.  Once they find a good partner, hopefully that person will want to be in a relationship with them.  Then they both must be willing to do the work necessary to make this relationship blossom and continue to grow.

I tell my clients, “When you find someone you want to be in a relationship with, or marry, they should enhance your life.  If they don’t make it better, or make you feel better by having them in your life, then why would you want to be with them?”  I always try to make my clients think.  They need to decide what they want to do when they fall in love with someone.  Does this person make their life better, happier and are they a good partner?  If so, great.  Go for it!  If not, re-think what you want and what this person brings to the table.  You usually know by the third date if this person has any potential.

This brings me to a wonderful quote I discovered in the January 2, 2017 issue of Us Magazine.  Actress Gina Rodriguez, star of “Jane the Virgin,”  was overhead saying the following: “I want to know that I don’t need another to be full.  So that whenever another person…comes into play, they are an addition, not filling a need.”

She put herself ahead of a romance.  She knows who she is and what works for her.  Well stated, Gina.  I hope this inspires you to look for someone who enhances you…and if you have that, you are blessed.

Posted in Dating, Relationships | 1 Comment

“13 Things About Ed Carpolotti” – Inspiration

Many years ago, I was fortunate enough to see Penny Fuller in the national tour of the “The Elephant Man” at the Blackstone Theatre (Now Merle Reskin Theatre) in Chicago.  I remember her from the Broadway Cast recording of the Tony Award winning musical “Applause”. (I wore out the vinyl recording.)  How often do I get to meet a performer who helped change my life when I was younger?  For me, sometimes it takes more than 30 years and I am never disappointed when it happens.

I attended the opening night performance of the musical “13 Things About Ed Carpolotti” at the Edye at the Broad Stage this past weekend with a friend.  Its star?  Penny Fuller!  I loved the show and I loved watching her.  The show runs through January 29, 2017.  I highly recommend seeing it!

When we arrived at the Edye, we were offered three different business cards containing questions.  The questions were related to the show and I took two as inspiration for this blog.  Here are my thoughts.

Question #1:  Do your loved ones’ flaws affect your memories of them?

I believe there are three answers to this question.  1) Yes; 2)  No; and 3) It depends on the day.  In this show, Virginia’s deceased husband, Ed Carpolotti, had many character flaws.  You learned how she loved him and lived with him in spite of them.  Taking this question out of context, look at the various people you love and their character flaws (or traits, in you prefer).  These people may still be in your life, may have passed away or moved on.  Just choose one person for this exercise. How do their character flaws impact you today?

Question #2:  Are you optimistic when faced with heartbreak?

Guess what? I believe there are three answers to this question as well.  1) Yes; 2)  No; and 3) It depends on the day. Looking at heartbreak, in terms of love relationships, how many times have you faced heartbreak? How quickly did you heal from the hurt, pain and rejection?  Did you break off the relationship or did the other person terminate it?  I think this is a harder question to answer.

When someone I love dies, it breaks my heart. Knowing their suffering has ended, I can start to feel optimistic again. I reflect upon the joy, love and memories I made and shared with this person.  When a romantic relationship ends, it takes me a bit longer to get my optimism back.  But when it does come back, I feel like “Sweet Charity” “… she lived … hopefully … ever after”.

Here’s an example from my life covering both questions:  When I was 26, my father passed away. I felt cheated. Four months later, I met the love of my life — my boyfriend, my soul mate and the man I would have married if he had not been commitment-phobic, among other things.  Whenever I decided I was done with him and started to date someone else, guess what? He showed up.  He must have known. Unfortunately, he never took the time to cultivate our relationship. I was pretty clueless back then, so I just accepted that this was our relationship — for 13 years.

I remember how much I used to love him, accepted his flaws, and depending upon the day, I can now look back and laugh.  The best gift he gave me was the ability to use my experience to help others.  To have a good relationship, I believe both people need to do the work that is necessary to help their relationship bloom and grow.  (Sounds like “Edelweiss” to me.)

Over the years, my memories of him, his good points and his flaws are still with me; I wouldn’t be the person I am today had I not been emotionally involved with him.  For that, I am truly grateful.

Have you thought about your answers yet?  Let me know when you figure it out!


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